I just want to vent
This whole fucking week has been stressful. I want to shake her. I want to hold her and hug her and tell her that it IS going to be okay and she doesn’t have to cry anymore. I love her so much, it’s the craziest feeling i’ve had towards a friend ever. It’s hitting me so hard and I don’t want to tell anyone because it’s not about me. I don’t need help. She does. She needs to be comforted. She needs to get out of that fucking house and she needs parental figures in her life. She’s been the mom for 18 years and she needs a fucking break. She needs to be with Zoey and she needs us. I need her. We need her. She has to leave, but she can’t. I need her here. What if she leaves, how will I know where she is. Or that she’s ok. Or that she isn’t finding time to hurt herself. Or she isn’t fucking alone, crying somewhere? I think about this shit literally every hour of every day now. I’m more angry than anything. I’m angry that she hasn’t told us any of this for 3 years. I’m angry that fucking fit isn’t doing anything. I’m angry that there are people out there who are seriously suicidal, THAT WE FUCKING KNOW ABOUT. AND THEY AREN’T DOING ANYTHING. how do I know where Adam is right now? how the fuck do I know that he isn’t hurting himself right now. Most of all, i’m furious with Marina’s parents. I don’t even think we can call them that. They don’t deserve to be called that. parents. there’s a fucking definition to that word they they never knew. They still don’t know. They don’t fucking get it that they are parents of 3 children and that means that they are supposed to love and support them NO MATTER WHAT. I could be a better fucking mom then she is, or a better dad than he is. I want to go to their house and just beat them until they’re barely alive. I swear i’d do it. I’d do it for marina. and I would threaten them to their faces. and I would hurt them so badly. and make them hurt just like marina and zoey have for the past 15/18 years. fuck them. you know, they don’t even deserve to be alive. They don’t deserve to know anyone. or to know what love is. go do your coke. smoke your pot and cheat on each other and be fucking unstable. I don’t want any more for you. You don’t deserve it. How does it feel that a 17 year old girl could do a better job at raising your kids than you can? HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT FEEL THAT YOU’RE TERRIBLE FUCKING PARENTS. she’s not coming back to you. and we’re taking zoey. and we’re calling the cops and you’re never going to see them or hurt them again. which is just the way it’s meant to be. fuck you. fuck your life. go away. never come back. I hope you read this one day and realize how much you’ve fucked with so many people. prepare to get it back. goodnight
